During the past few years, I was getting fairly convinced about the fallacy of the old refrain “Don’t complain if you have no constructive suggestion.” I called it the constructive counterargument.
I was reminded about this again when I recently read a blog post someone made to refute an argument. The subject in question was irrelevant in this discussion. Mainly, someone (let’s call him person A) made a public complaint about the behaviour of a group of people (group B). In reply, a person from group B dismissed person A complaining using the constructive counterargument.
Common refrain
You see this often. Someone made a complaint. Someone else find it difficult to answer favourably, and it might also difficult to fix the problem. Instead, it is so much easier to dismiss the complaint instead. So, the butt of the complaint replied with the constructive counterargument. Now we are getting nowhere fast.
Often, it is easy to complain. We always have problems everywhere. But it is also easy to dismiss a complain. You got nothing nice to say? Then don’t say it.
Why complain
Why do people complain anyway? Let’s break it down.
- It a troll
In this case, one who complaints to create discord and distrust. - Seeing red
Someone who is still upset about a problem or situation, and is not thinking straight. Someone who complaints at the heat of the moment to lash out at the world. - Seeing a problem
Someone who see a problem but don’t have a (good) solution.
Looking at the list, I got one out of three that is negative. The second point is not entirely negative. It might originated in negative frustration, but the issue is real. The third point deserves a deeper consideration.
Seeing a problem without solution
There are many issues with the imperfect world we lived in; some are particularly difficult to solve. If everyone is supposed to keep quiet when there is a problem without a solution, then where will we end up? Little will be solved without first airing the problem, doesn’t it?
Often, someone is needed to voice a problem. Subsequently, a discussion would take place and we might get a bright idea from someone else. Sometimes, the solution could already be there, solved in another area. You wouldn’t know it until some awareness is created.
In my opinion, this is a powerful condition. There is something to be said for the lone person voicing a problem with an accompanying solution. There are also things that probably should be discussed behind closed doors. But, it is arguably best for most problems to be discussed openly in public or within a large community. The results are usually greater than the sum of parts.
Conclusion
So, where does that leave us? I simply think it’s too easy to dismiss a complain with the constructive counterargument. It assumes every complainers without a solution is a troll. That’s bad.
Don’t become the constructive counterargument troll in return.
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