chewearn's blog

The world as seen from the perspective of an engineer is full of strange and alien phenomenons. Arts, fashion, culture; these things defy logic and are undecipherable. There is no equation to explain fashion. It changes by the season, by the year, by which fashion magazine you read, and by who you listen to. Unable to grok the latest in thing, what then is the engineer’s strategy of dressing sensibly and not stand out like a sore thumb in a crowd? If this question has been confounding the heck out of you, read on my friend.

Main objectives

Before we start diving into the details, you should first understand the overarching aim of this guide. The instruction in this guide is not to help you dress like the coolest guy in the party. It is not so you can impress the chicks with your cool fashion. Following this guide will not make you stand out.

Instead, this guide main objectives are:

1. Let you blend in the crowd. Don’t be the guy who is forever remembered as “you know, that guy who dressed like a stupid clown? When was it? That Christmas party in 1999?”
2. Save you from the need to decide what to wear every morning.
3. Save you from the impossible decision on where to shop, and which clothes to buy.
4. Save you tons of money on clothes.

And maybe more. Alright, enough rambling, let’s get down to it.

Step 1: Get rid of your geek wears

You would have accumulated tons of geek wears all your life. Now is the time to get rid of them. Wait, not all, save one or two geek shirts for emergencies, like when you need to give a presentation (see my previous article), or when you need to be cool in a geek convention.

Step 2: Choose a dull favorite color

Black, black and black. White is also good. Not red or green. Especially not pink. Maybe blue. But pick only one color. Not two, not three. One.

Step 3: Find a nearby store selling cheap shirts

For those in the US, Walmart is the perfect place.

Step 4: Speed shopping

When buying a t-shirt, pick the nondescript single color you have decided on previously. Make sure there is no glaring embellishment or printing on it. Test fit to find a comfortable size, while not being too over-sized. If you use a hot drier for your laundry, buy one size larger to compensate for shrinkage.

Once you have picked the right shirt, buy a bunch of them to last you one to two weeks, depending on your laundry schedule.

Step 5: More speed shopping

Now, repeat the above for the lower part of the body. You wouldn’t want to walk around in shirts and naked bottoms, no? Blue jeans are the safest bet, unless you have chosen blue shirts. That’s why I recommended black; I can’t, for the life of me, figure out what color of pants matches blue color shirts.

Jeans are almost indestructible and lasts a long time, so this also save you lots money. However, jeans do shrink in a hot drier as well, so get one size larger if you dry your clothes that way.

Step 6: Footwear

I am truly amazed at the durable cotton socks I bought from Walmart four years ago. It cost about $6 for a bag of six pairs. I am still wearing those socks today. No holes, though the color is slightly faded. Best of all, the are all the same color. Remember, identical color is the key here.

Of course, we should not forget shoes. There is nothing much on this, simply choose one or two pairs of dull color sneakers.

Ok, what’s the deal with identical colors?

Simply this. Your shopping would take the least time. You only need to decide once in your entire life. Then, go back and buy the same thing again and again. No more time wasted trying to decide what color to buy.

Every morning, you see the same set of clothes in your closet. Again, no more time and effort wasted picking out the clothes to wear.

Wouldn’t people notice you wear the same clothes everyday?

So what? It looks OK, doesn’t it? Actually, people might only notice it initially. But since you blend in well, it’s will pass.

Added bonus

Before too long, you would be part of the furniture and nobody would notice you. You could easily avoid awkward party conversations. After all, you are only there for the food, isn’t it?